From Childlike Freedom to Adult Accountability

From Childlike Freedom to Adult Accountability

13 September 2024

What Does It Mean to Be an Adult?

The concept of being an adult often gets reduced to a specific age – 18, 21, or some other arbitrary number when society deems us "grown-ups." However, many people, despite being adults by age, maintain a childish attitude toward life. They may struggle to perceive reality with responsibility, handle situations with maturity, or communicate without resorting to blame, resentment, or manipulation. On the flip side, some individuals become so mature, serious, and sophisticated that they forget how to enjoy life altogether.

Both of these extremes can be detrimental. As humans, we need to carry the innocence and joy of a child within us while avoiding behaviors that show an inability to take responsibility. It's essential to maintain a balance – where the inner child provides joy and creativity, but the adult ensures responsibility and wise decision-making.

Let’s explore what it means to be an adult while holding onto the most valuable qualities of being a child. This short checklist can help guide your understanding of the traits necessary for a harmonious life.

The Qualities of the Child Within You

The inner child represents curiosity, wonder, and an uninhibited approach to life. But, most importantly, it reminds us how to experience the world fully, without the fears or limitations that we tend to pick up as we grow older. Some of these traits include:

1. Free Expression of Emotions

Children are not afraid to express their emotions openly. They laugh when something is funny, cry when they feel pain, show anger when something upsets them, and express excitement without hesitation. As adults, it's essential not to suppress our emotions. Bottling them up can lead to mental strain, and the childlike ability to express how we feel freely can be both liberating and healthy.

2. Allowing Yourself to Fool Around

One of the most charming traits of children is their ability to be silly. They don't worry about being judged. They play, imagine, and laugh at the silliest things. Adults often lose this playfulness, thinking they need to be "serious" all the time. But allowing yourself to be a little foolish and have fun can re-energize your spirit.

3. Permission for Mistakes

Children aren't afraid to make mistakes; they learn from trial and error. When we were children, failure was part of the growth process. As adults, we often fear mistakes, seeing them as personal shortcomings. However, acknowledging that mistakes are a natural part of life helps you grow emotionally and intellectually.

4. Permission to Not Know Everything

Children constantly ask questions because they are unashamed of not knowing something. Adults often feel pressure to have all the answers, but it’s impossible to know everything. Giving yourself permission to ask for help or acknowledge what you don’t know is a sign of humility and strength.

5. Curiosity and Trying New Things

Children explore the world without the expectation of mastering every skill. They try new hobbies, ask questions, and learn for the sake of curiosity. As adults, we often shy away from new experiences, fearing failure or judgment. But maintaining curiosity about the world keeps us open to growth and learning.

6. Free Expression of Creativity

Children create without the fear of criticism. They paint, draw, build, and imagine without worrying about whether it will be perfect or well-received. Adults tend to hold back on their creativity, worried about being judged. Releasing this fear and allowing yourself to be creative can spark immense joy.

7. Enjoy Simple Little Things

Children find joy in the simplest things, whether it's playing with a stick, blowing bubbles, or watching a bug crawl across the ground. Adults often overlook these small wonders of life, but reconnecting with the ability to appreciate the little things can bring tremendous happiness.

8. An Interest in Everything

Curiosity drives children to explore every corner of life. They ask "why" about the world around them and aren’t afraid to dive into new topics. This sense of wonder is something adults should retain, as it fuels personal growth and prevents life from becoming monotonous.

What It Means to Be an Adult

Adulthood, however, is not only about the playful and joyful qualities of a child. There is a distinct set of responsibilities and qualities that come with being an adult. To be a mature and balanced individual, it’s essential to develop these qualities:

1. Taking Responsibility

Being an adult means taking responsibility for your life, your actions, and your decisions. It means recognizing that the outcomes of your life are influenced by your choices, and you cannot simply blame others for your circumstances.

2. Awareness of Consequences

Adults understand that every action has consequences. A mature individual thinks about how their behavior will affect themselves and others in the future, making decisions with a clear view of potential outcomes.

3. Acceptance of Life's Ups and Downs

Life is not always easy or fair. Adults learn to accept that there will be both victories and losses. The ability to weather these ups and downs with resilience is a hallmark of emotional maturity.

4. Self-Acceptance and Acceptance of Others

A mature adult accepts themselves as they are, flaws and all. They also extend that same acceptance to others, realizing that no one is perfect and that people deserve respect and understanding.

5. Letting Go of the Illusion of Perfection

Adults understand that it’s impossible to know or be good at everything. They recognize that everyone, even adults, makes mistakes and has limitations.

6. Setting Boundaries and Respecting Them

Part of being an adult is knowing when to say "no" and maintaining personal boundaries. Likewise, adults understand that others have boundaries too and respect them without trying to manipulate or control.

7. Avoiding Blame and Taking Ownership

Adults don’t blame others or the environment for their problems. Instead, they acknowledge their own role in the creation of their current circumstances and focus on how to improve them.

8. Appreciating What You Have

Gratitude is an essential part of adulthood. Mature individuals appreciate what they have, even if it’s not perfect, and they avoid constantly seeking external validation or material things for happiness.

9. Making Decisions and Following Through

One of the key markers of adulthood is the ability to make informed decisions and stick to them. Adults understand the importance of commitment and perseverance.

10. Healthy Relationships

Adults love and support others without unrealistic expectations. They maintain relationships based on mutual respect, clear communication, and trust.

11. Handling Difficult Situations with Composure

In times of crisis or difficulty, adults are able to pull themselves together and find solutions. They remain composed even when faced with stress.

Finding Balance: The Best of Both Worlds

Being an adult doesn’t mean losing the best parts of childhood. It means integrating the qualities of a responsible adult while holding onto the spontaneity, curiosity, and joy of a child. Maintaining this balance allows you to live a fulfilling, harmonious life where you can enjoy both the wonder of simple pleasures and the satisfaction of taking control of your destiny.

By nurturing the inner child within you while upholding the responsibilities of an adult, you’ll experience life more deeply, face challenges with strength, and enjoy every moment with a sense of awe. This is what it means to be truly mature – a blend of the wisdom of adulthood with the joyful spirit of childhood.